Women's English / Men's English

Women's English

1. Yes = No
   
2. No = Yes
   
3. Maybe = No
   
4. We need = I want
   
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
   
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
   
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
   
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
   
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
   
10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
    
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
    
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
    
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
    
14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
    
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
    
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
    
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
    
18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like
    

Men's English

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
   
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
   
3. I am tired = I am tired
   
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
   
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
   
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
   
7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
   
8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
   
9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
   
10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
    
11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
    
12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
    
13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins.
    
14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.
    
15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay